Fabulous to be female

Beauty and body-image are huge issues for girls and women; it's well established. If you need to be convinced, or if you need to convince someone of the problem, check out these two videos:

Killing Us Softly 4: Advertising's Image of Women

Miss Representation,Official Trailer

The big question that needs to be answered is, What do we DO about it?

My article, 52 ways to Boost Your Daughter's Body-Image, will give you lots of ideas. Check it out.

A quick answer? Get off the grid. Do something that doesn't require (or even allow for) primping and make up/elaborate hair care and do that thing often. Hiking, snow skiing, water sports, horseback riding, motorcycle riding, you name it...

Give your daughter REAL experiences. Spend meaningful time together exploring a new venture, a hobby, or a sport.

Then allow your daughter to primp for other occasions and activities. It's normal (see this article for more on the normalcy of primping).

It's not just girls, boys are concerned with their looks too. But, REALLY.... Girls spend a LOT of time looking in the mirror in the preteen and/or teen years. It's not just your daughter, I promise! There are multiple reasons why a girl is concerned with her appearance:

1. She's  hardwired to care about how she looks. It's probably the female sex hormones that are responsible for the near-universal female desire to check out the mirror.
2. She's bombarded with images about beauty so she's trying to see how she measures up.
3. Other girls are doing the same thing. We are all influenced by the people we hang out with.

Think about it. You moms likely did the same thing. Maybe you still do: walk by the mirror and take a peek. Is everything OK, is there something out of place? Do I need more lipstick? Is my hair sticking out?

Women in ancient cultures had beauty rituals too. Beads, tattoos, hair styles, body paint, and fine clothing are not unique to our century! If your daughter checks herself out in the mirror a lot - she's normal!

I grew up in a family where we didn't EVER say, "I love you." The family my husband and I created is more vocal about our feelings. We often say, "I love you."

I have friends who feel loved not when someone uses words but when someone presents small gifts and tokens. The item can be tiny - a bar of chocolate or a single flower. It doesn't matter.

Gary Chapman writes about five languages of love. His book describes five love languages and urges us to find out what love language is most meaningful to those we care about. Then we are urged to express our love in the language that our loved one prefers. (Most of us err and show love in OUR love language instead of in the love language of our family member/partner.)

Here are the five love languages:

1. gifts (they can be small, size doesn't matter)
2. acts of service (favors, holding the door for someone, getting a cool drink or a hot chocolate for someone)
3. quality time
4. touch
5. words of appreciation

Which is your love language? In other words, what makes you feel loved and cared for? Maybe a couple of these seem correct. Most of us, according to Chapman, have a primary love language.

Now consider your family members. What is the love language of each person? Not sure? Discuss it over dinner and see if you can learn/identify the love language of each family member. What a great gift that could be this holiday season - to show love and appreciation to each other in the manner that is the most meaningful to the recipient. And it's a gift that is recession proof. It is free and the most precious thing that you can give. Genuine love - expressed in a manner that is genuinely received.