Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

-Margaret Mead

When we gather together amazing things happen. It's powerful to be in the room with a group of mothers who are blessing and affirming their daughters. It is incredibly touching when the girls respond by blessing and affirming their mothers. This is just one thing we do in my mother-daughter workshops. 

We learn, we talk, and we take action. Action is often in the form of activity to solidify a concept but just as often the action is a ritual movement of some sort. Mothers often shed a tear or two. Girls feel safe and loved. Participants in general call it "awesome!"  I call it goodness in action. And I keep wanting to do it again and again. That's what brings me back to my work, day after day, week after week, and year after year. It's the girls and the mothers. They care. They love. They validate and strengthen each other. They connect.

I love the Q and A time in my Growing up Female mother-daughter workshops. The questions are varied and many repeat over time but there are some questions that surprise me, there are some that almost break my heart, and there are others that make me laugh. 

I share these questions because they will give you some insight as to what middle school girls are wondering about, what they are concerned about. These questions come from a recent Growing up Female workshop for middle school girls:

Why are girls harsher in middle school? Why are some girls mean all the time?

Why doesn't my parents trust me with more privilages?

How do I control my emotions as I am growing up?

How should you tell your mom when you get your period?

How do you tell your BFF that they hurt your feelings?

Do guys have nipples?

How can you release your emotions without making a big deal out of it?

If someone is talking about you, or your friend rudley should you contront them (even if they are your friend) or should you forget about it and move on? Peace, Love!

The statistics are rather startling.

1. 90% of 8-16 year-old kids have viewed porn online (most while doing homework)
2. The average age of the first online view of porn is 11 years old

We need to ask ourselves why 8 and 11-year-old children are looking at porn. They aren't even sexually mature at that age. What is going on here?

Our culture is so heavy with references to sex and the various forms of sexual expression that kids are hearing references to sex at a very young age. Just last week I heard announcers on a local radio station telling listeners that 75% of men and 54% of women would rather have sex than watch the Super Bowl. If you were a 9-year-old child, getting all geared up for the Super Bowl, wouldn't you wonder what this "sex" thing was about?

Next question. 9-year-old kids are part of the digital age. What do they do when they want information about something? They do an internet search, of course. Try it yourself. When I Googled sex, the top three listings were educational in nature (I could have learned all I wanted to know) and the next few were porn, of course. I never click on porn sites. I know not to.

I don't think 8 and 9-year-old children go to the computer to watch porn. I think they go to the computer for information and then end up watching porn.

I ask you, is this how you want your kids or the kids you care about to find out about sex? I didn't think so.

You can block these sites from the computers in your house. But your kids will look over the shoulder of a buddy who has an unprotected computer. And smart phones are another source for streaming porn videos.

Here is an answer that will work.

Give your kids and the kids you care about accurate information about sex. Include slang words. Make sure children know what oral sex is and be sure to cover the slang words there too. Why? I Googled blow job. Here is what I found. The first listing was for Wikipedia. Wikipedia describes a blow job and includes pictures. After that listing I got listings for porn videos. Again, I didn't click on any of the porn sites, I know better.  I ask you, would you rather tell your child what a blow job is or have your child watch one being performed on a porn video?

Give your kids information about sex. Then tell them to NOT EVER click on the porn sites and tell them why.

Healthy attitudes about sex are learned.

If you need help figuring out how to talk to your kids about these sensitive subjects, contact me. I help parents talk to kids about sex.

I have raised 3 children and I know what it feels like to tell your own kids about sex and sexual expression.

I am a trained medical professional. I have taught thousands of parents and students about these sensitive yet important topics. I can help you, if you need it.

You don't have to act today but you really ought to act soon. 

I believe the human body is beautiful and good.

I believe sexual expression is a normal and natural part of life.

I believe healthy attitudes about sex are learned.

I believe we are sexual beings, not sex objects.

I believe I believe caring adults need to consciously and carefully teach young people about healthy sexuality.

I believe it is never too early to start teaching kids about sex nor is it ever too late. Very young children can and do learn valuable lessons about sexuality. Older children, teens, young adults, and even older adults can all gain valuable insights and information about sex, sexuality, and sexual expression by thinking about and discussing this very personal but important subject.

What do you believe about sex?

Most of today's adults had little to no modeling about how to talk about sex and sexual matters.

Many adults have a hard time separating out their thoughts and feelings about this sensitive subject. These adults can learn how to think and talk about sexual matters in a healthy way; I have witnessed this and have facilitated this sort of learning in my Talking to Your Kids about Sex workshops. If you or your partner are confused about how to address this subject with your kids, attend one of my live events, invest in my learn-at-home course, or sign up for a teleseminar to learn how to think about and then talk about sex with your kids.

If healthy attitudes about sex and sexuality are learned, and I believe they are, parents will want to teach their kids about this important subject.

You don't need to sign up for a workshop or teleseminar today. Just start thinking about it. What are your kids learning? Where are they learning it from? Is the information correct? Is it complete? Is it enough?