Fabulous to be female

My grandmother comforted me with words of wisdom she had received from her own mother, "You can't have flowers and babies at the same time." Whether a woman is trying to balance childrearing with gardening or with her career, the underlying message is the same; raising children takes a significant amount of time and effort. Other pursuits may need to take a back seat.
It comforted me to hear this message from my grandmother. She had experience. She knew. She and her mother, my great grandmother, had reorganized their lives to accommodate the demands of childrearing. They had figured it out. And they passed the message down: You can't have flowers and babies at the same time. A woman shouldn't try to do it all, at least not all at the same time. Women learn valuable lessons as they age. We all benefit when we share those lessons with other women. There's comfort and assurance to be had when we hear that others have struggled in similar ways; others have found solutions that might help us. Women can share stories, solutions, and struggles with each other. And we can share with the next generation as well - the girls of today will be the women of tomorrow. We need each other. Let's stay in touch.
Join our conversations on Facebook. Connect with other women in the group there called Raising Daughters and fan the Facebook page, Fabulous to be Female. We can talk and stay in touch there.

The photo you see here is me, when I was a teenager. Wow, I wonder how I would have parented me, if given that task. I was a good student but bored in school. I was involved with a group of friends and a couple of activities but had too much free time on my hands. I broke my share of rules - but never got caught. Knowing what I know now, about parenting and about myself - I would have been challenged to parent "me" when I was a teen. Somehow I/we got through it - without major scars - but with a few scrapes and probably a bit of scar tissue.

Parenting teens is tricky. I've had some practice; we're on our third. Our two daughters are now 23 and 20; we have a 15 year-old son. I think we've gotten better with each one - but I'm sure we've made our share of mistakes, probably an equal number of mistakes with each one.

I used to think there were right ways to parent and wrong ways to parent. While I still believe there are important rules and good practices for parenting, I no longer think parenting is about doing it "right." There are too many variables to think that we can do it "right" or do it "wrong." I think parenting is more about showing up for the job every day, being attentive, and remembering to love along the way. It's easy to get distracted by the other demands of life and the other attractions of life. It's easy to hold-on to the unhappiness and the disagreements that are bound to come up in a household that contains a teen.

Loving a teen is often a choice rather than a feeling. And it's an important choice. Sometimes, when the going gets rough, it is only that love (and the choice to continue with the love) that parents have to hold onto. And it's often enough. Don't underestimate the power of an established relationship based on love. It can get you through some pretty tough times. Trust me - from a teenage girl who broke rules to a parent that has had to choose love over and over again - I know it works wonders. 

A mother's hands do so much

A mother's hands convey much

The touch from mother, when loving, is like no other.

Listen to the audio for more:

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Sometimes it really does feel fabulous to be female. When girls and women are free to be who they really are, when they are free to develop their true gifts and natural talents, then they can be and feel fabulous! When their natural abilities are celebrated and validated - then they can be and feel fabulous. When they center themselves enough to find this true nature of theirs - that's when women and girls thrive.

At Fabulous to be Female we will explore the ways women think, work, play, and connect. We will encourage women to come together and we will provide opportunities for women and girls to do just that - to come together so they can pass on their knowledge, share their insights, and encourage, help and support each other.  And we will do that primarily by coming together to celebrate and explore what it really means to be female - in today's world. And we plan to have fun while we do this!

Our entry level workshop is for 10 year old girls and their mothers. Mothers and daughters gather together - in groups - to learn from each other and to share the joys and realities of being girls and adult women. Come join in. We'd love to hear from you, meet you, converse with you, and experience a workshop or a group experience with you.

We will use the term mother-daughter and we urge mothers to bring their daughters. Some girls come to events with other adult women; we welcome girls to come with grandmothers, step mothers, aunts, and friends. We are a collective of women and girls. Please join us and help us explore and celebrate.