Raising a Confident Daughter

Amy Sluss — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:16:11 +0100

At age 7, it was clear that Madeleine liked to be in charge. Her mother feared she was destined to be “bossy.” Then the preteen years hit; by age 10, Madeleine rarely made a decision without checking in with her friends; she exhibited a hesitancy that surprised and, frankly, concerned her mother. What happened to the confident and self-assured daughter she knew? girl reading

Discussing Difficult Topics with Your Children

Amy Sluss — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:13:32 +0100

Parents want to protect their children. It’s normal and natural. The day inevitably arises, though, when a difficult and uncomfortable issue presents itself. It might be a death, divorce, or a grave diagnosis. These days families face job loss and some face financial ruin. The potential list of difficulties is endless. Parents worry about the impact of these difficult situations on their children. Some fret and wonder, “To tell or not to tell?” and “If we do tell our cRead More...

Fabulous to Be Female, Marvelous to Be Male

Amy Sluss — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:03:38 +0100

I had the occasion to meet John Gray, Ph.D a couple of weeks ago. He has recently released a new book, Venus on Fire Mars on Ice. Most of you, I’m guessing read his groundbreaking volume, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. Dr. Gray’s work allowed my generation of women and men to accept our differences as male/female without diminishing either or stereotRead More...

Beautiful is her Name

Amy Sluss — Fri, 28 May 2010 03:34:22 +0100

This Memorial Day, after you pause to remember and appreciate those who have died, spend time noticing and affirming those you still have in your life. Sometimes I get too busy and forget to tell the people I love the most how much I appreciate them. How about you?

Do not save your loving speecRead More...

Joyfully Radiant

Amy Sluss — Tue, 18 May 2010 09:14:09 +0100

"Where we keep claiming the light, we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant."
-Henri Nouwen

How would you like to be more joyful, event radiant, as the quote above suggests? It sounds good to me! But how do we go about it? That’s the hard part. Or is it? Maybe we have just to apply a few simple principles;Read More...

CARE for You, the Caretaker

Amy Sluss — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 04:20:40 +0100

Women,

It’s fabulous to be female. Do you agree? It can be, you know. We too often apply undue pressure to ourselves and expect too much. The result is that we feel less than fabulous.

I wonder why we, as women, so frequently take good care of those around us and neglect our own health and wellness. Here are four ways you should be CARE – ing for you. I hope the CARE acronym will help you remember to apply these actions and activities to your own life:

C - ComRead More...

Overheard, What Girls and Parents Say, IV

Amy Sluss — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 04:16:43 +0100

12 year old Daughter:
“You are the worst mother. I can’t believe you won’t let me go.” (Her mom refused to allow the girl to go to the mall with a friend who was being driven by a teen who was unknown to the mother.) The girl went to her room, slammed the door closed, and pushed her dresser in front of the door.

Mother of this girl:

“She tells me she’s so unhappy and that she wishes she weren’t alive. I took her to a therapist. The therRead More...

Overheard, What Girls and Parents Say III

Amy Sluss — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:56:44 +0100

Understanding what your daughter is going through as she transitions from being a girl to being a woman is often difficult - for you and for her. You want her to thrive. You know you have knowledge she needs.
Overheard
When the mother spoke to her daughter, the girl simply responded, "Mom." The conversation ended. The mother said to me, "It's like she doesn't hear me."
What is happening here? Is the daughter listening; does she hear her mother? Yes, she hears her mother. She hears Read More...

Shocking but True

Amy Sluss — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:37:56 +0100

The girls were shocked by my statement. The mothers all affirmed it. I told the girls (they were 15 years old) that their mothers and I want them to have a wonderful sex life. I asked the mothers if they agreed and they all nodded. The girls were dumbfounded.

Continuing the Conversation: Breaking Open Difficult Topics Like SEX

Amy Sluss — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:13:56 +0100

When our children are small we, understandably, keep disturbing topics from them. We protect them as much as we can. Many families, either intentionally or unintentionally, extend this way of communicating to all matters around sex and sexuality. They don’t talk about it. At all. Then, when the children get to the age of puberty, these families have a well established pattern of NOT talking. It’s always hard to break a pattern. It can be even more difficult to break open the silenRead More...

Overheard, What Girls and Parents Say II,

Amy Sluss — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:27:39 +0100

14 year old girl (from what looks to be a well balanced and wonderful family):

"My house is awful. You can't believe how bad it is here; I hate it and am so unhappy."

Parent of 15 year old girl:

"Samantha is so negative. She's like a walking little witch. I don't know what to do or how to talk to her anymore."

What is going on?

The teen years are a challenging time for girls and for parentRead More...

How Does it Feel to Be a Heart?

Amy Sluss — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:01:03 +0100

Once a young woman asked me,

“How does it feel to be a man?”

And I replied,

“My dear,

I am not so sure.”

Then she said,

Lesson: Girls don’t take in all of the information the first time around –Read More...

Continuing the Conversation: The "Talk" Must be Replaced

Amy Sluss — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:54:07 +0100

Times have changed. The "talk" of old - telling your daughter how her body will change in puberty is not an effective way to teach her about life, her body, or about being female.

Today you need to have ongoing conversations.

We have a detailed conversation about puberty and body changes at the Growing up Female I workshop that Read More...

She doesn't know how good she's got it!

Amy Sluss — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:43:03 +0100

by Amy Sluss

Our culture teaches girls and women to want what they don’t have. We are encouraged to want more, over and over again; it’s a marketing strategy designed for business success. Our daughters are prime targets and are quite vulnerable. Families can transcend these marketing messages and teach other valuRead More...

Secrets, Secrets are no Fun. Secrets, Secrets Hurt Everyone!

Amy Sluss — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:19:23 +0100

Joan was an RN with decades of nursing experience. When she found the lump in her breast she didn’t tell anyone. She couldn’t bear the thought of surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and all that went with those treatments. She silently hoped the lump would disappear and she kept her secret for a full year before seeking care. Joan&Read More...

The Power of Lipstick

Amy Sluss — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:25:28 +0100

Lipstick. I use it to remind me of who “I” am; to help me claim my strengths. It works; I leave the house with renewed confidence and I think I stand up a bit straighter after I’ve applied my lipstick. How can a simple tube of lip color do all that? It’s a process.

First of all I don’Read More...

Across the Generations

Amy Sluss — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:10:43 +0100

My grandmother comforted me with words of wisdom she had received from her own mother, "You can't have flowers and babies at the same time." Whether a woman is trying to balance childrearing with gardening or with her career, the underlying message is the same; raising children takes a significant amount of time and effort. Other pursuits may need to take a back seat.
It comforted me to hear this message from my grandmother. She had experience. She kn

Blog entries from Amy Sluss