Fabulous to be female

Women,

It’s fabulous to be female. Do you agree? It can be, you know. We too often apply undue pressure to ourselves and expect too much. The result is that we feel less than fabulous.

I wonder why we, as women, so frequently take good care of those around us and neglect our own health and wellness. Here are four ways you should be CARE – ing for you. I hope the CARE acronym will help you remember to apply these actions and activities to your own life:

C - Compassion: be kind to yourself

A – Affirm your inner goodness

R- Resilience: Cultivate resilience so you can bounce back

E- Enlist the help of others; you are not meant to do it all alone

Let me elaborate just a little:

Compassion: I know women who are compassionate to everyone except for that person they regard in the mirror. These women expect too much. You probably are struggling like everyone else with something – something important. Give yourself some slack. Let go of unrealistic expectations and be empathetic – to YOU. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. It’s OK.

Affirm your goodness: Most women I know can affirm everyone around but then stop, again, when they look in the mirror. You deserve to be affirmed. Give yourself verbal credit (“good job!”) for your good ideas, your contributions, and for completing the everyday tasks that you do. Make it a habit to affirm yourself every evening for at least 3 things you did that day – whether they were mundane tasks (which of course no one else wants to do!) or creative endeavors. You made a difference, take credit for it.

Cultivate resilience. Whatever you are struggling with has the capacity to make you stronger and more capable. Stick with it and figure it out. Then celebrate your resilience.

Enlist the help of others. The world is a complex place; it seems to become more complex every day. Ask for assistance; the people you are close to would probably love to lend you a hand with whatever you are working on or need help with.  Reach out to others, share your burdens, and hire help if you can afford to.

You are worth the CARE.

My grandmother comforted me with words of wisdom she had received from her own mother, "You can't have flowers and babies at the same time." Whether a woman is trying to balance childrearing with gardening or with her career, the underlying message is the same; raising children takes a significant amount of time and effort. Other pursuits may need to take a back seat.
It comforted me to hear this message from my grandmother. She had experience. She knew. She and her mother, my great grandmother, had reorganized their lives to accommodate the demands of childrearing. They had figured it out. And they passed the message down: You can't have flowers and babies at the same time. A woman shouldn't try to do it all, at least not all at the same time. Women learn valuable lessons as they age. We all benefit when we share those lessons with other women. There's comfort and assurance to be had when we hear that others have struggled in similar ways; others have found solutions that might help us. Women can share stories, solutions, and struggles with each other. And we can share with the next generation as well - the girls of today will be the women of tomorrow. We need each other. Let's stay in touch.
Join our conversations on Facebook. Connect with other women in the group there called Raising Daughters and fan the Facebook page, Fabulous to be Female. We can talk and stay in touch there.